Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

In a world that increasingly confuses self worth with net worth, and independence with availability. Everywhere I looked there was a new form of exploitation. Women supposedly have more freedom now than at any other time in history. So why are we encouraged to tart ourselves up in dangerous stilettos and topple around like shackled prisoners? This is fashion, I'm told. Heels make your legs look longer and sexier, the experts say. Heels make you look like wounded prey, I say. Go ahead, run in those. I dare you. Wear that low-cut top that does wonderful things for your rack, so long as you keep a corner of your attention on it so the girls don't pop right out.

It's a prison, and I won't lock myself in it for any reason.

Follow the "rules," keep your opinion to yourself, and never call anyone first. Play this little game and never let it slip that you might have a brain in your pretty, make-up smeared, hair-sprayed head. Go to work for a full day, and then come home and cook dinner and then clean up after your husband and kids.


I opted out. I've been celibate for 2 years now, and quite frankly, I couldn't be happier. Well, except of course for the anger I feel when I contemplate the culture around me.

I have way more time to myself. I get to wear COMFORTABLE clothing. I don't even own proper heels any more. I paint. I write. I belong to several communities of crafters so I can have things made with passion, not profit, as the prime ingredient. I get to have deep, meaningful conversations with people because I have no ulterior motive, nothing to hide. This is me. I don't need to impress anyone.

I'm not religious. I didn't begin to abstain due to guilt, or shame, or "saving myself." To be honest, there wasn't anything left to save. Except myself. I wanted freedom in all best possible senses. This was the only way I could see to attain it.
I don't answer to anyone. I neither go out nor stay home when I don't want to. I don't compromise or trade away my needs for anyone else's. I don't have to listen to boring stories or watch sports.

That's the nutshell version. I'll go on ahead and explore the positive aspects of celibacy in depth in later posts. Heck, just for fun, I'll even include research on the subject. I like nuns. We have things in common.